Elf task force

Today I clipped a little snippet from the Draper Paper touting Santa's Helper who could arrange for the big guy to entertain at holiday parties, etc. I will be hosting our extensive extended family festivities at a Christmas gala and a pop in from Kris Kringle would definitely be a holiday hit.

The little crumpled piece of newspaper was spotted instantly by Jaycee as she wandered into the kitchen after school.

"What's this?" she inquired.

"Oh, just a little Christmas ad." I answered nonchalantly.

"It says: call Santa's little helper, call early, times book up fast."
"Is that Santa's number? Can we call him? Why does it say to call early?"

(I know that the magical wonder of belief is fading as each year passes into the unrelenting reality of growing up. I protect the cherished secrets of Christmas for as long as I possibly can...and as it stands now, I am half and half with two who are in on the splendid ruse, and two who remain firm in their notions of flying reindeer and colorful, pointy-eared elves)

Thinking quickly I explained that the number Jaycee had discovered was not Santa's number, but, as it stated, was the contact information for Santa's helper.

"Parents can call this number and set up special surveillance for their kids by Santa's elves."

Jaycee gazed at me with a hint of disbelief, but not enough to call my bluff.

"Why do you have to call? You always tell us that Santa's elves come out right after Halloween (used to be Thanksgiving, but the threat is far too effective to utilize for only one short month) and they watch everyone, checking in and then reporting back to Santa."

"Well, this year I am especially concerned about all the fighting that goes on in our home. You guys are having a heck of a time getting along, and I thought an elf-task-force would help to keep you in line and to make Santa extra aware of how you are behaving."

"So there will be special elves watching us this year?"

"Yep, they are rigorously trained to watch certain children twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. They are especially sensitive to arguing, name calling and tattling...NOTHING gets by these guys."

"...and why do you have to call early?" The question barely audible coming out as a squeak.

"There aren't very many elves qualified for this important role, so you have to get your name in quickly to receive an assignment."

"Hmmm."

(later that evening)

Jaycee: "Luke, guess what's wierd? Mom hired army elves to watch us this year! They're going to be everywhere, all the time. We have to be REALLY good or we're going to have a REALLY bad Christmas!"

Ohhhh..."I'm Dreaming of a White (lie) Christmas" this year!