"Sweet" Dreams

Do you ever have the dream where you are trying desperately to escape an often unseen menacing force by running with all your strength but your body won't comply and your legs move like they are submerged in wet cement? I often find myself in such a quandary during my slumber.

I know that dreams represent unconscious concerns of our everyday lives, and I understand exactly what my unconscious mind is trying desperately to communicate to my conscious psyche...get a grip! Pull those legs out of the sludge, and get movin'!

I have been trying to lose weight. The numbers on my bathroom scale are my unseen enemy--except they are not unseen--I can see them JUST fine as they stare at me every day, their fluorescent red configurations shouting "What has happened to you?!" I am trying, desperately, to escape the grip of those unwanted, stubborn pounds that insist on clinging to my body.

I know what I have to do--just like in my dreams--I know HOW to evade whatever is chasing me, but it's getting through the heavy, gooey barrier that's tough. In my life that barrier takes the form of snickerdoodles, cinnamon bears...and a little impairment I like to call will power deficiency.

I ate macaroni and cheese the other day, right out of the pan, with the big serving spoon. Kraft mac n' cheese with the orangish little noodles stained by gross powdered cheese.

At Paradise Bakery last week I ordered a salad, dressing on the side, no cheese, no crunchy little tortilla strips, just...salad...and a little chicken.
But, by the time I left the restaurant I had eaten my salad, plus a medium sized chocolate chip cookie, and half a slice of carrot cake...

Experts (?) have said if you are having a nightmare during sleep you can, with some practice and amazing control, actually insert conscious thoughts into your dreams. If you are running from something, for instance, stop--and confront whatever it is that is haunting you. They say this will wake you up, thus ending the nightmare.

So maybe if I confront my weight, acknowledge it and refuse to be swayed by tempting deserts or carbohydrate pitfalls, exercise EVERY morning rather than smacking the snooze button eight times, I will WAKE UP in the body I occupied just six and half years ago, this LB-laden body hidden in the recesses of my mind and reserved only for distressing REM sleep...