What's for breakfast?

How bout' a little boy bundled in a bright blue blanket, nestled in the "big chair" gazing sleepy-eyed at the tv awaiting Scooby Doo while tolerating just four more minutes of Baby Looney Tunes...

A Lukey burrito...sounds delightfully delectable to me!

Mid life crisis?

Perhaps. Or maybe I'm just a little nonsensical these days, what with the never-ending winter, turning forty, etc. and so on. Whatever the explanation, something's in the air, and I'm taking on whole new rebel lovin' obsession!

Sidenote: (I am, on average, a pretty conservative gal. I am (usually) content with my role as housewife (only occasionally Desperate!) and mother of four and find joy (most of the time) in the simple pleasures afforded by the luxury of staying home and caring for my ever-growing brood...)

Lately...however, the words to "Satisfaction" echo through my head complete with high notes and visions of half smiles...and I have found myself drawn to my computer, (specifically to YouTube) typing in the name A D A M
L A M B E R T...



You know who I'm talking about, don't you...? The absolutely stunning, blue-eyed, eye-lined, black nailed, ring adorned, sleek leather jacket donned, multi-range, belting sensation that has me riveted to my TV every week tuning into the most exciting season of American Idol since season four...

when I met Constantine...

(I have a history)

Once again I find myself attempting to take an introspective look at myself and question why I cannot simply "enjoy" something. I hurdle average levels of interest and propel my greater-than-normal fixation right into a realm of complete oblivion to all but the object of my obsession.

If this is, in fact, a crisis seeped with insecurities about reaching the middle of my life, I must say... at least my current obsession is safely tucked into a flat screen hanging on my wall and not taking the form of a dangerously fast automobile or two-wheeled "death cycle." Am I right?



(Gotta go--my favorite spiky-haired, gothic-inspired genius of a musical artist is about to make his entrance!)

BECAUSE

I pampered myself today. It was therapeutic and crucial to my current well being, but it was pampering nonetheless.

After I made the appointment I second guessed my motives and considered self-indulgence, but then paused to acknowledge the reasons why I sought out a refuge of hot stones and deep tissue massage in the first place...

BECAUSE

...I have two teenage daughters who depending on the direction of the wind will choose to engage with me in conversation or roll their mascara-ed eyes when I inquire about school or friends.

BECAUSE

...I have Jaycee (who is my darling) but whose issues with such tricky things as weight, anxiety and academic/social situations at school make me weary on a daily basis as I strive to protect her and encourage and challenge her all at the same time.

BECAUSE

...Luke, who creamed me in a game of Super Smash Bros. on the Wii responded to his victory with a resounding "I sure beat the hell out of you!"

BECAUSE

...I am eating chicken for at least two meals every single solitary day.

BECAUSE

...I have not had a Hershey's Kiss for over a month.

BECAUSE

...My hormones are completely messed up and to remedy the associated symptoms I have been overloaded with doses of estrogen which make my moods swing like a gigantic pendulum, my head ache despite large doses of Ibuprofen, and a little thing called patience extinct within my existence.

BECAUSE

...I sit between at least two children at the kitchen island every evening bouncing back and forth completing stacks of homework rendered by teachers who have doled out enough punishment for taking my kids out of school for a week to keep me from ever doing it again.

(and lastly)

BECAUSE

...As I lay under the warmed sheet on the massage table my therapist ran the heel of her hand down the right side of my back and I felt the uneven "bump bump bump" of knotted muscles down the length of my trapezius and latissimus dorsi. An accumulation of stress, obligation, worry, time constraints, and self doubt (aka motherhood) all imbedded in the musculature of my spinal area.

Tonight I feel much better, more relaxed...BECAUSE I chose to put off doing a load of laundry and vacuuming my family room to take care of me and my needs.

Selfish? No way. Smartest thing I've done all week? Definitely.

BECAUSE... I deserve a little pampering...



(and you do too...)

(our) Fun filled February fling in fotos (and a few facts)

First time fliers, my kids along with cousins spent two hours acquainting themselves with the nooks and crannies of a commercial airplane (especially fascinating...the miniature bathroom with a turbo-sucking toilet, and barf bags in the pocket of every seat which were filled during the flight with with various toys, lip glosses, and even a cookie or two).



Welcomed by a drizzly California winter day we explored Seaworld under cloudy skies, and our first day of Disneyland under multi-colored plastic ponchos. By Wednesday our pleas to the sun god were answered as the thermostat cleared 70 (!!!!) and jackets were shed by noon. Our fun increased each day, as did the temperatures, and our lily white, dead of winter skin began to turn various shades of pink as we stood with arms outstretched faces tilted to the sun soaking in every last scrumptious ray!






Sights and sounds of the most magical place on earth were dampened only by a slight (actually a pretty wicked) case of bronchitis (yours truly--who never gets sick...had to take a trek to an urgent care--ironic, huh--for antibiotics and an inhaler).






Our final day was spent at Legoland which was adored by the little boys and endured by their mommas...



(Cami and I got a little bored...)



Oh, the memories of California 2009--Nineteen people in one suite? Elevator antics, Tower of Terror, where's Braxton? Trey, our angel. Six Flags is closed? Minivans on the California highway. Loads of love, laughter to last until next time...what fun we had!

"I can't believe you're 40!"

Cami called me last Wednesday evening, "I'm calling to wish you happy last night ever in your thirties!" and thus began the extravaganzic (you can make up words as you mature...) event that was my 40th birthday...

I awoke to a bright sign in my front yard declaring me "over the hill" which garnered several honks and phone calls from neighbors and friends, voice mails squeezed in between multiple calls from family, relatives and best friends all laughing while exclaiming "I can't believe you are 40!"

An eagerly-anticipated traditional birthday lunch with my fabulous mom and sisters propelled my already incredible day into an afternoon filled with friends streaming through my door delivering thoughtful cards, decadent treats and generous gifts.

An evening surrounded by my husband and kids all looking at me like I'm going to start wrinkling up before their eyes (mom, do you feel old?) was highlighted by a gift consisting of forty envelopes containing love notes declaring forty reasons why they love me...(one of the best gifts I've ever received!)

Smothered with just the right amount of attention to make me feel extremely special and loved I mourned the day coming to an end and all the festivities and well wishes along with it.

Little did I realize that this monumental birthday was far too significant to be contained to just one day...

Another annual lunch (the following day) scheduled with my best friends (extraordinaire) was absolutely not what it appeared--which was an intimate get-together at Cheesecake Factory--it in fact turned out to be a grand surprise party including a group of those most dear from my "old" neighborhood, and my very favorites from my "new!" I was shocked and amazed, but, unfortunately not speechless as I rambled about "my old and new lives coming together..." (in a high pitched, slightly manic manner).





Turning forty was unlike anything I had imagined. I felt the significance of entering a brand new decade and celebrated with the enthusiasm this birthday deserves!

As I sit, five days post-new-decade, two celebratory lunches remain, as well as a load of gift cards and b-day money just waiting for spring shopping. I'm thinking, I'm a pretty lucky girl...a little old...but lucky!

Get with the "program" (catchy title)/ I cannot believe I am still talking about weight (honest title)

When I was in high school I was considered a "big girl." I was certainly never obese, I wasn't even that "round and puffy" type of overweight. I was solid from several years of dance, and don't remember anything resembling a muffin top resting atop my 501s, or rolls of spongy skin protruding from my raised collared, button-down pastel tinted blouses.

Still, I was one of three or four bigger-ish girls in dance company (my instructor often threatened to make me--and my less-than-anorexic sidekicks--step on the scales in front of the entire company if we did not lose weight by concert time) (I usually managed to drop about seven lbs per concert by starving myself of everything other than apples and frosted mini-wheats...) Despite a few confidence crushing comments and wince worthy moments of exclusion within the circled halls of my high school, I managed to graduate a sunny, surprisingly secure eighteen year old (wonderful friends, good grades and a challenging position on the newspaper staff were more than sufficient to offset the less than memorable events of my adolescent years...)

So, why this little trip down a lane full of "weighty" memories?

Well, I, like the fabulous Oprah Winfrey herself, "cannot believe I am still talking about weight!"

This has been an issue for me off and on my entire life. From times during college when daily doughnuts enjoyed at the union building led to a ten pound gain within just a few short months, to my first experience with Weight Watchers where I had great success and the first loss in my life. After pregnancies I was miraculously able to lose baby weight as well as an additional few pounds...three months after Roo was born I weighed less than I did in high school.

Age...kids...stress...who knows the reason...but, I have since become the queen of fluctuation. Personal trainers, Weight Watchers (again), Dexatrim, Isagenix--you name it--I've tried it. I even facilitated the formation of a "weight loss group" with three of my friends. Each week we met together for a weigh-in. We hopped up on that scale for all to see. You'd think the pressure/humiliation of displaying something so personal as pounds and ounces would be a substantial motivator...but, alas, we only justified non-compliance, and supported each other through a complete and total lack of weight loss success!

Why, after all these years, have I recently embarked upon yet another plan to lose weight? (because I will never give up on that trim, healthy me that is just dying to break out of this extra twenty pound shell!) and why am I sharing this with every single soul that I know? (because I am the absolute polar opposite of private...)

As January opened its doors to a new year of hope and resolution, I committed to a life altering lifestyle change that requires willpower, strength and resolve.

Whole wheat...everything, sugarfree...everything. Chicken, tuna, broccoli and spinach replace cereal and pancakes for dinner, but can be alternated with yummy dishes from Rumbi and Subway. It is definitely smart, and it can be done--it will be done!

I am ready for this "program." Don't even think about calling it a diet--it's so much more than cutting calories. I have the advantage of accountability and direction from my trainer/nutritionist/psychological counselor aka my "guy" Wes. He's keeping me focused and changing my life.

I hope to shrink my body, but even more than that I wish to transform my mind. Those thoughts bred from a near lifetime of self image insecurities are about to give way to a successful more confident (and hopefully thinner in the process) me!

As simple as that

As '09 begins to secure that somewhat familiar, broken-in feel I think I've got a handle on some of the things in store for us this year.

I will never have to pay money for a yoga class...

simply because I find myself (frequently) closing my eyes and taking deep cleansing breaths in response to a rapidly maturing teenager who literally lives for friends, boys, name brand clothing, music and high school (she's still in jr. high). Anything outside the realm of these five categories is typically ignored with an eye roll and an exasperated "tuh!" (rhymes with duh)



Fortunately, my girl is a talker, (and she loves to borrow my shoes), so she confides in me the ups and downs of living life on the cusp of her great high school debut complete with boy joys and heartaches, demanding teachers and compulsions to fit in and yet be able to stand alone. For this confidence I am grateful, as well as for the iron-clad will and unwavering standards she displays for all who know or come in contact with her.
(I pray every day this will not change.)

I will never understand the mind of my second born child...

simply because one minute she is riding the unicycle (she requested and received for Christmas) around the family room, teetering precariously, arms outstretched and flailing in a vain attempt to control her balance atop the one wheeled cycle, and the next she is locked in her bathroom applying mascara, curling hair, painting nails, exiting only to inquire "I am ever going to get contacts?" Then she's off with friends to the movies to see a show and meet a boy...what is up with that?



Fortunately, my girl is an incredibly kind, mild tempered soul, and as she diffuses troublesome tirades and squabbles amongst her friends, I am grateful that she is a peacemaker.

The rest of us know that life revolves around the two mentioned above...

simply because...they are enjoying life, making the most of new-found freedom and expanding boundaries as they develop a sense of who they are and what direction they are heading. Of course they don't realize all that is going on in their adolescent lives. They are focused not on the importance of wise, imperative decisions, but on what to wear, where to go and who will be there.

2009 will be a great year...

simply because I've learned to take cleansing breaths and have given up on the notion of consistency in my household.

This year I resolve to have fun with my girls, treasure the positives and not brood over the negatives. We will enjoy this time of life, it's just too much fun not to!