Wednesday, June 10, 2009

My boy...


my one and only boy, loves legos, baseball, motorcycles, animals, showing his muscles, and shocking his sisters with a variety of colorful potty words.

Kindergarten is all wrapped up complete with teacher attachment (me, even more than him), darling new friends, out-grown uniforms, and above grade level success in practically every subject. As we reach this milestone, this culmination and completion of those precious "younger years," I reflect on my boy, and his strengths and struggles, his abilities and insecurities, as well as on me, and my strengths and struggles, my abilities and insecurities when it comes to this little man that I love so very much.

I wonder...how do I cope with the idea of putting him in the care of another person in just a few short months, one that neither of us knows, for almost seven hours each day? I know I relinquished my girls to the same fate, and they, as well as I survived without much impairment at all.

But this is my boy. My one and only boy...

My boy is a smarty-pants as well as kind, sensitive, and funny.

(My boy has such anxiety he panics when he doesn't know exactly where I am (even within the house).)

My boy terrorizes his sisters until they scream and threaten to kill him. His response? Turn up the heat and laugh hysterically while running at full speed as far away from them as possible.

(My boy has such anxiety he calls me every fifteen minutes when I'm out on a quick dinner date with his daddy.)

My boy loves to buy new toys. Money will literally burn a hole in his pocket if not spent on something that can accompany sound effects made by puffing out his cheeks and making a "blowing up" (as in dynamite as opposed to a balloon) sound as soon as said money is acquired.

(My boy has such anxiety he begins anticipating the dreaded nighttime ritual by noon, at least. ("why do we have to have night?"))

My boy worships his dad and tries to imitate and emulate his mannerisms, hobbies and looks. (he's growing out his hair to make up for a future of baldness!)

(My boy has such anxiety he often refuses to play at a friend's house for fear that I may leave and not be at home if and when he returns.)

My boy is a gentleman. He will open the door for me, watch out for me, comfort me when I am sad, hug me at exactly the right times, and stick up for me when his sisters' are getting feisty.

My boy is wonderful but fearful, sweet but concerned.

How do I pave a way for him to grow and mature into a confident and hopeful young man while protecting him from the things that frighten and trouble him every day?

My boy..my one and only boy loves superheroes and star wars, his momma, spongebob and american idol (he is my son after all). He is afraid of the dark, spiders, bees, and being left alone.

I love his long locks, the amber freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks, his laughing eyes, outrageous vocabulary, and propensity for winning at most games we play. I am afraid that he will be afraid while he's away from me.

But I can't hold onto him forever.

(Dang!)

My boy is growing up. He will be ok...won't he?