Sunday, April 27, 2008

Yeah Baby!


This is Scott, my husband of nearly 18 years. Scott is a shaved head, soul patch wearing, motorcycle-riding kind of guy. He has a customized Harley--emblazoned with black and blue skulls, flames, and the shiniest rims you've ever seen on the road. He rides with his black leathers also adorned with skulls and an attitude that has "bad you-know-what" written all over it.
(necessary side note here...)Scott looks tough on the outside, but he is very kind and loving on the inside. Sometimes those who know him well chuckle at the sight of him and his beloved bike. It's so him, and yet it's not, at the same time!

Say what you will, Scott is a "take control" kind of guy, and is not easily intimidated. He just DEALS with things--sometimes so I don't have to, and I love that! I always feel very safe and secure around him--a comfortable place to be.

Last week Scott had to go to the hospital for a GED. Aka a GI endoscopy. Aka a tube that goes down your throat to examine the lining of the esophagus and stomach.
Due to the fact that the tube is about the diameter of a garden hose, patients are sedated quite heavily for this procedure. This is where my fun begins...


After the procedure was complete they wheeled Scott into the little room where I was waiting. When I saw him my initial reaction was one of concern and uneasiness. My super tough husband appeared so vulnerable and helpless, lying on a mobile hospital bed, an IV in his arm, oxygen in his nose, and a noisy monitor beeping incessantly-- reminding him to take deep breaths. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I walked over to the side of his bed, "Hi Hun," I said, "How are you feeling?" Scott turned to look at me and that's when I lost it...oh no, I didn't cry, I started laughing...Scott looked at me with eyes the size of salad plates, no sign of recognition on his face..."I grummmmmeddd nellll of the roooop," he said. Then he was out. His procedure went well, and there was no sign of anything serious, so it was all about the post-anesthesia chit chat now. I had to work on waking him up and keeping him breathing, so I was asking him all sorts of questions. Most of these he would respond to with an enthusiastic "Yeah Baby!" Channeling ones inner Austin Powers is apparently a side effect of those amnesic drugs. He kept telling the same story over and over and over again, and asked what time it was about fifteen times. He would open his eyes really wide and say "Okay! I'm awake now!" Then his head would fall back onto the pillow or against the wall and he would start snoring like crazy. Unfortunately, every time I would bring up money...as in...can have a little extra?...he would suddenly become very lucid as he would explain details of our current financial situation including our agreement to cut back on spending... followed by "yeah baby!" and then he was out again. What is it with men and money?

Scott recuperated fairly quickly from the mind numbing effects of the fabulous meds he was given at the hospital. However, he describes the whole evening as "a bit of a blur." I may just use that blurriness to my advantage in the future...

Although I had my fun listening to his silly rantings and watching his exaggerated reactions, I must admit that I was relieved when he returned to his normal, calm, levelheaded, problem-solving, lovable tough-guy self again!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Thank Heavens for Hannah!


"Opposites attract," "No two snowflakes are alike," Walking to the beat of a different drum..." What is that old adage? Oh yeah, I remember..."Two children of the same parents are sometimes so completely different in every way it makes you wonder about that whole DNA theory."

Meet Kelsey and Jaycee. My middle children who seem to defy the odds of similarity although they belong to the same family, have been raised with the same influences, and are less than two and a half years apart in age.
Kelsey (aka "Roo") is a tomboy through and through. She loves sports and sweatshirts, hats and bandannas. When she is not playing tennis, she loves to roller blade, skateboard and ride her bike--her very sleek, dark blue dirt bike.
Jaycee, on the other hand is a girly-girl through and through. She loves music and pink blouses, jewelery and makeup. When she is not doing gymnastics she loves to play with dolls, and Webkins. She will ride her bike if she has to--her lovely purple with silver appliques road bike.
Roo is very practical and even-tempered. Jaycee is...not.
Jaycee is very social and talkative. Roo is...not.
Roo is neat and organized. Jaycee is...not.
Jaycee is into all of the latest styles. Roo is...not.
I am begging Roo to wear just a little bit of clear lipgloss.
Jaycee is begging me to let her wear just a little bit of blush, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, and bright pink lipstick.
Roo will not be caught dead in anything pink with lace, ruffles, sparkles or bows. Jaycee will not be caught dead in anything un-pink without lace, ruffles, sparkles or bows.
Jaycee is a drama queen.
Roo is a peacemaker.
Jaycee loves Hannah Montana.
Roo...LOVES HANNAH MONTANA TOO!!!
Well, what do you know! These two have something in common after all! Miley Cyrus adorns their walls, blares from their cd players and embellishes their clothing. Both of my girls were shrieking in unison to the acoustic booming of the Hannah Montana concert last fall. One difference stands out though...
Roo wants to SEE Hannah Montana.
Jaycee wants to BE Hannah Montana!
Well, what would we do with more than one pop star in the family anyway?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

A Saturday Morning


A couple of days ago Luke got a new bike. He was so anxious for me to watch him ride that he coaxed me outside at 9am on Saturday morning. Still wearing my PJs and hiding behind a pair of big sunglasses I watched him ride around and around and around our driveway. Suddenly he stopped, looking up at a tree we have next to our driveway. "Mom!" he said "We got a new tree! I love it! It has flowers on it!" Literally overnight our previously bare-branched tree had sprouted lovely little white blossoms. This little sign of a much anticipated spring season brought a smile to my face, but Luke's perception made me laugh out loud! So optimistic, so innocent, so positive...

Fast forward a couple of hours...Luke is back outside, enjoying his "new wheels," alone this time. Suddenly I hear him rush into the house and slam and lock the door. He attempts to tell me something very important as evidenced by the intense look of concern on his face and panting breath. "Calm down, I tell him, "What happened?" He composes himself enough to explain..."I was outside riding my bike and a car drove by. There was a man in the car and he SMILED AT ME! I came in the house because I know he was going to come back and kill me!"

Hmmmm...so much for that youthful optimism!!!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Luke Loves Life!


Luke is a very happy little boy. He finds joy in the simplest things, and it takes little to elicit great enthusiasm for unexpected trips to the dollar store or McDonalds. Sure, he will often ask if we can go to Disneyland...tomorrow, but for the most part he is content with our routine--as long as we throw in a few of his "faves" along the way. Things such as filling up the bathtub really high and playing with his "guys," boats and torpedoes. Or a game with me. He loves to sit down on the floor and play the Memory Game, Connect Four, or his very favorite, Life. That's right, my five year old LOVES the game of Life. He always chooses to go to college, never misses a payday, his home purchases are modest and he very rarely goes into debt. Somehow he usually manages to end up with more money than I do in the end! They say there are many things we can learn from our children--I guess we never know what sort of lessons they will offer.

I wish I could be as content and pleased as my little boy! Although I may not love life as Luke does, I sure do love my Luke! I love the way he talks and the expressions he makes. I love that his favorite words are awesome (as in "that's so awwwwwesome!") and suck. (I will admit to a double standard here...when my girls say suck I tsk tsk, when Luke says it I snicker every time!) I love Luke's vast imagination, and the random statements he makes ("Mom, did you know the statue of liberty is taller than every building in the world?") I love how he loves his sisters his friends and his cousins. I especially love how he loves his dad...

Luke says he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, but only, he says, if lawyers can live at home with their moms--that, right there, is what I love the most.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Journey to Hashimoto

I've recently been on journey...one that began six weeks ago and is not at its end, but has begun is slow spiral to conclusion.
Six weeks ago I woke up, took a look in the mirror and was instantly drawn to an unusual area of swelling on the right side of my neck. Convinced my eyes were playing tricks on me I immediately pointed it out to Scott asking "does my neck look swollen to you?" His wide eyed expression and shocked response of "what IS that?" dashed all hopes of exaggeration on my part.
The doctor believed I had an unusual infection developing in my lymph nodes. He treated me with antibiotics but ordered a blood draw to check my thyroid levels "just in case." This very wise decision revealed that I had something very wrong going on with my thyroid. By the next afternoon I had an ultrasound done and an appointment with an ENT to discuss the multiple, large "masses" that had been discovered on my thyroid gland. At this point I was scared to death. I kept hearing things like "most likely noncancerous," followed by "but, if you're going to have cancer, thyroid cancer is the one to have." Apparently it's quite treatable. But if it's all the same, I would rather not have any sort of cancer at all, thank you very much!
I had to wait a full week for a biopsy, each day dealing with symptoms of hyperthyroidism like sweating, pounding heart, shakiness, shortness of breath, and and all sorts of other uncomfortable conditions. I had no idea the thyroid gland--this little butterfly-shaped nodule in my neck controlled so many body functions and could create such havoc with those functions!
The biopsy was an interesting experience. Not horrible, but very unnerving as I had to lie flat on my back, neck extended attempting to watch peripherally as they poked and prodded the swollen area of my neck with various needles. The best part of the procedure was at the end as I sat up shaky and exhausted from nervous anxiety and Scott says to me, "that wasn't bad at all!" I chuckled at his very man-like statement counting in my head the number of times I was going to be able to retell that one for a good laugh!
The next day I found out the results of the biopsy showed benign cysts that would just have to be watched and monitored over the next few months. I was beyond thrilled! So grateful for the positive outcome, as was my family. My dad cried when I told him, and so many others joined me in feeling overwhelmingly blessed and relieved. Little did I know my journey was not over here...
My symptoms worsened, even threatening a condition called thyroid storm. I started on medication, and began feeling better immediately (thank you Dr. McDreamy). I went in for some very fascinating nuclear medicine scans which involved drinking and injecting radioactive solutions! I told my kids I had super powers after I had my first radioactive study--they were quite impressed.
These tests combined with several more blood tests led my current doctor to diagnose me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (I have a hard time saying that without giggling! what a name!!!). Hashimoto's is an autoimmune thyroid disease, and I will never know why I got it. It can be treated with medications, and other than feeling tired and cold, I am now doing quite well.

This journey has taught me several things...
--I will never, ever take good health for granted again!
--I have the most supportive husband, family and friends in the entire world!
--I live in a wonderful ward where I have been watched over and taken care of immensely!
--When someone offers to bring in dinner never say no--it is a treat beyond all measure!
--Prayers are heard and answered!
--You have to laugh at serious things or you will spend your days in tears.
--Everybody knows someone with thyroid disease--it is far more common than I realized until I started telling every single person in my life what was going on with me (obviously not a private person!). I was able to learn a lot from what others have gone through.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Sweet Sixteen


Today is Lexi's birthday. It is not her sixteenth birthday, it is her fourteenth, but her focus today and for the past three months has been that this is a milestone birthday because fourteen means only two more years until sixteen!!!
From the time Lexi was a baby she has always wanted to be older than what she was. She rolled over at less than two months, crawled at four, and walked at nine! I thought she was brilliant, but looking back I believe she was always looking ahead to that next step, patiently biding her time until developmentally and physically she had what it took to balance on those hands and knees, then pull herself up to toddle on two feet.
Lexi has the next eight years of her life planned out from the kind of car she wants to drive to the type of "school" job she wants to have. She knows where she wants to go to college and what she wants to study. Actually, now that I think about it, she has gone beyond eight years...She knows the type of man she wants to marry and how many kids she wants to have. She also has lots of ideas on how she is going to raise those kids and most of those are opposite of the way I do things (I try not to take that personally).
Luckily, Lexi's goals are guided by her steadfast values (thank you Young Women's program for having our back on that one. I just said tonight--for the 117th time--I would not want to raise teenagers alone! I need the reinforcement Young Women's provides on so many levels!).
So, I have this wonderful daughter who is outstanding in so many ways. She is goal oriented and driven, fabulous qualities for a young woman of fourteen to possess. My question is...how do I encourage those qualities, but also encourage her not to wish her life away? She believes that when her sixteenth birthday arrives, a magical world will open up and all her troubles will disappear. She will have the independence she has craved her entire life, she will be able to work and manage more than weekly allowance or babysitting money. She will be able to date and drive! I understand the appeal, but I also know of the challenges that are inevitably waiting for her. Just as that flight of stairs, and sharp corner on the kitchen cabinet created obstacles for her to overcome as an ambitious toddler, Lex will face temptations and pressures that will test her and complicate the path that she has so confidently laid out for herself. I believe that it is important to teach children what they need to know and then release them to the world to learn for themselves the hows and whys of this crazy life. I said I believe this--that doesn't mean I will be able to do it. I consider myself one of those "helicopter parents" you know, the kind that "hover." I try not to be--but it is in my nature. (Needless to say, I read Love and Logic three times--I just couldn't do it!)
I guess, for now, I'll just do my best to be positive and encouraging. Try not to scare her into reverting backwards with tales about mean managers, car accidents and boys who never call. And last, but not least, cherish those moments when she is happy being at the movies with the family, playing "ghost in the graveyard" with her siblings, and begging for sleepovers with her cousin AJ. Sixteen will be here before we know it, and I can only hope that what lies ahead after that will be as sweet as Lexi truly believes it will be.

Friday, April 4, 2008

"I'll never let go, Jack, I'll never let go!"


Welcome to my first official blog post! I am so excited to enter this new techno form of journaling! I have been hesitant to start a blog simply because I talk so much that I figure anybody who knows me would never want to read what I have to say when they already hear it firsthand! But, I thought, what a fantastic way to record events and recount stories. When my kids do or say something adorable or hysterical I always say, "I'm going to write that down!" But I never do...now I will...nothing will be forgotten!
First things first, I must explain the title of my blog: NEVER LET GO. This phrase comes from my favorite movie of all time...Titanic. Rose realizes that in order for her to be saved from the icy waters of the ocean she must let go of Jack's frozen, dead hands (sniff!!) and alert the rescuers that she is still alive. Before she releases him to sink, lifeless, into the depths of the sea below (sob!!) she kisses his hands and makes a promise to "never let go." She goes on to live a happy and successful life, never letting go of the love she and Jack shared aboard the ill-fated ship (sigh...). Anyway, I adopted Rose's words for a far less romantic reason. Never let go typifies my personality. You see, I tend to be a bit obsessive about things, subjects, people, etc. Whereas most people may be "interested" in certain things, I obsess about them! Examples: Titanic--when that movie came out I made it my mission to find out everything there was to know not only about the making of the movie, the stars, etc., but also the actual historical events surrounding the real Titanic. Celebrities--Ben Affleck being number one (I became physically ill when I learned he was dating JLo!), Constantine, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Eric Bana, get the picture? Reality TV--it started with Survivor and now includes American Idol, Biggest Loser, etc, etc. TV shows--Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives--ask me ANYTHING about ANY of these shows--I will be able to tell you what you need to know. Let's see, what else? The Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyers, King Henry the VIII and his six wives (after reading and seeing The Other Boleyn Girl). Women's oppression by the Taliban in Afghanistan (A Thousand Splendid Suns inspired and sickened me.) Can't forget politics--I am a moderate Republican with huge soap boxes I just love to stand on and shout my views and opinions! Oh, and thyroid disease--that one hasn't been much fun but I've gleaned every bit of info I can from mythyroid.com.
I have to say it's not all about entertainment and research for me, however. There are many other things that I will "Never let go"...of... I am fiercely loyal. If I am your friend I will be your friend for life and will fight to the death for you. Same goes for my family--both my own immediate family and the one I grew up with. My faith and values are very dear to me. My house has to be clean or I go crazy! I like to think I encourage my kids, but truth be told, I obsess about whatever new activity they are involved in. Whether it be theater, soccer, or (our latest) tennis...I throw everything I have into the activity believing that my kids will be the most successful actor/soccer player/tennis player EVER!! I can count the number of jobs I have ever had on one hand and one finger! I do not like change, and when I have a good job--I keep it!
I'm sure there are many more examples that will become apparent over time. For now I will leave it with these! My goal is to post often, but I swear they won't all be so long!